I'm sitting here sipping coffee and trying to calm myself. Outwardly I don't believe I appear nervous, but inside I'm shaking like a leaf. I've been trying for a long time to find the perfect job and start earning a more stable income to help Ken, and have gotten close a number of times. Close, but no cigar.

HAHA! I just realized how stupid a phrase that is.

But it fits in perfectly, really, with how I'm feeling right now. The last position I began interviewing for, I made it to the 3rd round, which was the last one before they made their choice. It was a good job - $80K a year - and I had such high hopes. I don't apply for a job unless I'm at least 80% certain that I can be as big a blessing to them as they can be to me. I'd thought that one was "the one".

The job I'm interviewing for today is probably not going to pay as well. And it isn't going to promote me any further into IT or management in the future. It may be the wrong choice for somebody who has the thought of applying elsewhere in the future.

I've got all that swirling around in my head, but underlying it all is the absolute joy that I don't have smoking to contend with right now. The smell, the embarrassment of meeting somebody for the first time and knowing that they think you're making poor choices, and that might be repeated in your job performance... all that baggagge is gone from me.

So I'm just gonna sit and sip my coffee and "tink happy tawts" and anticipate getting to know this new company and see if we're right for each other. Wish me well!

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Nowhere in any industry does the term “killer marketing” apply better than in Big Tobacco. If Big Tobacco is successful in marketing its products to existing addicts, ex addicts and new victims, it will definitely kill its target audience. And it seems that marketing executives have become so “clever” (if that’s the word you would use to describe somebody who’s found a way into talking somebody into doing something that will end his or her life) it frightens me.

One of my Quit Buds has been smoke-free for 233 days. Her addiction manifested in the form of Camels before she decided to break free. I can’t imagine that a tobacco company could know that she specifically had quit, or hadn’t purchased any of their product in over 200 days… but something caused them to decide to send her some coupons this week. They had never sent her coupons in the mail before. It freaked her out.

What was worse - they came in the exact shape and size of a pack of sickarettes.

Her words are the best to use in describing her feelings…